Communication with Your Elementary Age Child
by Denis Waitley
In communicating with children of all ages, eye contact and physical contact are important. These should be part of our everyday dealings. A child whose parents use eye and physical contact will likely be more comfortable with himself and others, be a better communicator and have better self-esteem.
Eye contact, especially, is a little gesture whose presence or absence can covey big meaning. There’s surprisingly little eye contact in many households, and when it does exist, it’s usually negative, such as when the teen is being reprimanded. The more you can make eye contact in a loving way, the more your child will feel nourished.
You send several hundred verbal and nonverbal messages to your children each day. You don’t have to say a word to send a message to your child. You can turn off verbal communications, but not the nonverbal ones. Ninety-three percent of all communication is nonverbal. Parents under stress often withdraw from one another and from their children, and when they do communicate, it tends to be bossy and irritable.
First you listen, and then you talk. Decide that for you the conversation is going to be about listening. Devote your attention to what your son or daughter is saying, because kids are very good at detecting insincerity. Make it clear that you are listening and trying to understand your child’s point of view. When your child describes an event, repeat what you think your child has just said. You might say, “It sounds like you’re saying….” Don’t be too quick with advice. Pat answers imply that the child’s problem is too simple and maybe not significant. Listen while the child explores all aspects of the situation. Often, your child will talk himself or herself into the same solution you were eager to offer.
Stress to your child the importance of using positive, affirming language. Teach your child that his/her language is a reflection of his/her thoughts and attitudes. Also, that others will form attitudes about us, based in part on what they hear us say.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Communication with Your Elementary Age Child
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Four Words That Make Life Worthwhile
by Jim Rohn
Over the years, as I’ve sought out ideas, principles and strategies to life’s challenges, I’ve come across four simple words that can make living worthwhile.
First, life is worthwhile if you LEARN. What you don’t know will hurt you. You have to have learning to exist, let alone succeed. Life is worthwhile if you learn from your own experiences—negative or positive.
We learn to do it right by first sometimes doing it wrong. We call that a positive negative. We also learn from other people’s experiences, both positive and negative. I’ve always said that it is too bad failures don’t give seminars. Obviously, we don’t want to pay them, so they aren’t usually touring around giving seminars. But that information would be very valuable. We would learn how someone who had it all, messed it up. Learning from other people’s experiences and mistakes is valuable information because we can learn what not to do without the pain of having tried and failed ourselves.
We learn by what we see, so pay attention. We learn by what we hear, so be a good listener. Now, I do suggest that you should be a selective listener. Don’t just let anybody dump into your mental factory. We learn from what we read, so learn from every source. Learn from lectures. Learn from songs. Learn from sermons. Learn from conversations with people who care. Always keep learning.
Second, life is worthwhile if you TRY. You can’t just learn. Now you have to try something to see if you can do it. Try to make a difference. Try to make some progress. Try to learn a new skill. Try to learn a new sport. It doesn’t mean you can do everything, but there are a lot of things you can do if you just try. Try your best. Give it every effort. Why not go all out?
Third, life is worthwhile if you STAY. You have to stay from spring until harvest. If you have signed up for the day or for the game or for the project, see it through. Sometimes calamity comes; then it is worth wrapping it up and that’s the end. But just don’t end in the middle. Maybe on the next project you pass, but on this one, if you signed up, see it through.
And lastly, life is worthwhile if you CARE. If you care at all, you will get some results. If you care enough, you can get incredible results. Care enough to make a difference. Care enough to turn somebody around. Care enough to start a new enterprise. Care enough to change it all. Care enough to be the highest producer. Care enough to set some records. Care enough to win.
Four powerful little words: learn, try, stay and care.
What difference can you make in your life today by putting these words to work?